Being a Dominatrix Made Me a Better Coach

Have you ever thought you knew what something was only to discover that it was nothing like what you thought it was?

Most people that I talk to about what being a Dominatrix was for me are blown away at how different is is from how they imagined it would be.

Here is the thing, being a Dominatrix was actually more about healing and empowerment than it looks like from the outside and if you would permit me to take you on a journey briefly into this world you will see what I mean.

When someone would come to me for session there was a very extensive intake process. A long negotiation of what do you want to try, what is a maybe even though it is scary now, and what is an absolute No. Then we see what matches my list of skills and what I am willing to offer.

Next, I would get to know them a bit more personally and begin to find out what personal challenges are going on, and what things might be triggers for them. This is so critical, the last thing you want is to be in the middle of a scene and use a word that triggers a huge emotional response that you are not expecting.

With all of that underway and mapped out, next comes the crafting of the scene for this client given what they are looking for and what is going on with them, so that when it comes time for the scene I am ready to take charge and orchestrate things so that they get the outcome they are looking for – and NO we are not talking about sex here. Contrary to all the images you see most Dominatrix’s do not ever have sexual contact with the client. It is about something much more spiritual. Yes, I did say spiritual but bear with me I will get to that.

So coming back to the scene, the beginning there is a type of ritual (like putting on a collar), that allows the client to let go of control, and to surrender to the Dominatrix for the scene. On the outside this looks like the client is giving all their power to the Dominatrix but in fact it is more like acting since the client always has the ultimate power in being able to end the session at any point. The pretend handing over of power is to facilitate the scene and allow the client to drop into their body, getting out of their head and often the overwhelm that normally runs their lives.

As the scene progresses, the client is gradually pushed on what they are able to receive physically. This releases the endorphin’s which change the perception of pain allowing them to go further. With a very slow ramp up and some energy play thrown in, the client drops into a space of deep surrender where time and space disappear and all that remains is the present moment. They are deeply connected to their body and the now. This is the spiritual experience I was telling you about. Similar to experiences of going on a vision quest but in a couple of hours instead of 21 days.

As the client comes down from this high, they can begin to integrate how they were able to do far more than they had thought they were capable of. Seeing themselves in a new light and being clear of the overwhelm that they came in with. Conditioned to be able to do more, and be more as they head out into the world.

I no longer play in this world – preferring to utilise energy tools instead – but the conditioning for me was the best training for me to do my coaching now. I am willing to hold people to what is uncomfortable, to take them through the fire so that they can experience deep transformation. Many shy away from what is uncomfortable but in learning to lean into it, they learn that it can be harnessed to work for them instead.

Who I had to become in order to play in the Dominatrix world has also been invaluable in building my business. Running a business requires us to take bold action on a daily basis if we want to grow. That energy and conditioning is part of my DNA now as a result of my training, and it is something I bring to my clients helping them to claim their Inner Dominatrix.

This blog post was written by Dana Pharant. Catch Dana at momondays Barrie, ON on 05/01/2017! Get your advance tickets here: Buy Tickets

Dana Pharant is a Master Healer & Life Strategist, and of course Former Dominatrix who works with entrepreneurs inviting them to own their Inner Dominatrix so that they can step into a bold, sexy & fun-filled life. For more about Dana, visit http://www.innerdominatrix.com.

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