Watching, wondering, waiting

Wondering, watching and waiting…

You never know when your 2×4 moment is going to come. Mine came with the birth of our 4th child. A girl. Lucy. My journey through her healing was watching, wondering, waiting.

Our adventure with Lucy has been …just that a – venture- into the unknown and unchartered territory.

When you have a baby in the NICU your days become all consumed with wondering, watching and waiting. You wonder…what the doctors will do, what they are thinking, how your baby is doing. You watch…as all the tubes and needles go in and out, all the doctors and specialists come and go, the nurses care for your baby. You wait…as all the test results come back, by the bed side, for your baby to grow, for you to go home.

We are so very thankful for the care of the NICU team, for the compassion, knowledge and expertise. We are so thankful for the medical expertise. I know in my heart, that the combination of western allopathic care and all the energetic healing practices we employed to make our baby well did just that …” made our baby well”.

Going through the process there were days that were very scary, very calm, very ” going through the motions”, very emotional. There were days that I talked alot and others where I didn’t.

When you are in the centre of a spiral that seems to spin and spin and spin you just want it to stop…just for a minute.

Then one day it did.

The day that I will always remember is when the NICU neonatologists said ” all of Lucy’s problems seem to be going away”. That was a wonderful, brilliant day.

We were able to bring her home and now she is thriving ( not just surviving), growing and glowing. The day all the tubes came out was the day she began to gain weight. The day we brought her home was the day I first saw her face. Up until that day the tube, which had been up her nose and down to her tummy, had been taped and covering her face for the first 19 days of her life. The tape came off, the tube came out and I could see her face.

As I watched, wondered and waited I learned three important lessons.
The first being it is ok to cry. As a medical professional in this situation, at this time I took the role of doctor vs. being a patient. I attempted to distance myself from the reality of being ” the patient” and put myself in the role of doctor, one who ” has it all together”. I feared if I cried I wouldn’t stop. Now i realize it is ok to cry. It is me. I am authentic and if that means cry and not have it all together, that is who i am.

Secondly, I learned to take one day at a time. As Lucy was sick we took one day at a time. One test at a time. One outcome at a time. I learned to get dressed up, show up, be present and each day will get better.

Thirdly I learned to be open to receive help. Even if i couldn’t ask for it help appeared. I desperately needed friendship, it showed up. I needed food, as the last thing on my mind was cooking or grocery shopping for the rest of my family. It showed up in groceries and prepared dishes. I needed finances, as my life and business literally shut down for two months as we healed together. It showed up. Be open to receive, even if you cannot ask.

Watching, wondering and waiting.

I waited for the day I could bring my Lucy home. I went out, bought myself a new outfit. I had an important date. It was the day I brought my daughter home…

This blog post was written by Dr. Laura Gravelle. Catch Dr. Laura at momondays momondays London, ON on 11/10/2014! Get your advance tickets here: Buy Tickets

drlaura-web01 Dr. Laura Gravelle is a family based wellness chiropractor located at 350 Oxford Street West, Unit 202, London Ontario. Dr. Gravelle received her Doctor of Chiropractic from Canadian Memorial Chiropractic College in 2003. Her passion for life, health and humanity are clearly demonstrated in all she creates. She is a sought after speaker on health, personal growth, positive thinking, nutrition, personal empowerment and how to live your best life. She has 4 young children and a loving husband For more about Dr. Laura, visit http://www.chirolaura.com.

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