What does it mean to be “selfish”?

selfish
adj. Concerned chiefly or excessively with oneself, and having little regard for others.
adj. Showing or arising from an excessive concern with oneself and a lack of concern for others.
Caring only for self; influenced solely or chiefly by motives of personal or private pleasure or advantage: as, a selfish person.

While I do not agree with having little regard or a lack of concern for others, I started to wonder if caring for oneself and being “selfish” is truly a terrible thing?

As Canadians, I think we are particularly concerned with being polite and helping others and that is what makes Canada such a wonderful place to live. But what happens when we start to overextend ourselves? What happens when are more concerned with looking good and do things out of obligation, or to fulfill a duty, or to live up to someone else’s expectation of what we SHOULD be doing? Have you ever found yourself being resentful or harboring animosity towards someone for not acknowledging your selflessness in putting them and their happiness first, even before your own happiness? It’s pretty ridiculous when you think about it.

Regardless of whether it is to our children, partner, parents, or even to be where society has deemed we should be, when we choose to do things solely for the regard and concern of others and do that over the regard and concern of ourselves, it is just as bad as being that sad definition of “selfish” listed above.

I think it is time to change the way we view being selfish. I think it is time to honour valuing ourselves and our wellbeing over being liked, fulfilling obligations, and anything else that really doesn’t matter as much as our own happiness. Because when we are around someone who is happy, content with themselves, taking care of themselves and putting their wellbeing first, that in an of itself is a blessing.

When we take the time to focus on ourselves and focus on self-love and self-care, we might even find that we are able to give more and love others more because we have taken the time to fill our own cup. It is easy to give from an overflowing cup… mathematically impossible to give from an empty one.

Being selfish doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Let’s change the way we view that word. Self is the new ish!

This blog post was written by Simmone Park. Catch Simmone at momondays Toronto, ON on 09/16/2019! Get your advance tickets here: Buy Tickets

Simmone Park is a social artist who has lived too many lives for the lack of wrinkles on her face. A former chronic “people-pleaser”, she took a long and arduous journey to figuring out who she is and how to become the source of her own happiness.

She is of no fixed address, doing what makes her happy, and following her passion and purpose to fulfill her wildest dreams. For more about Simmone, visit https://www.simmonepark.com.

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